Odi et Amo
by Predstavlenia Glazala Boga
Summary: I love and I hate. EdRoy. I apologize for the poor summary. Rating may change.
1. Prologue

Title: "Odi et Amo"

Author: Predstavlenia Glazala Boga

Warnings: So far, male homosexuality, angstiness, violence, and Roy.

Yes, I do believe that Roy Mustang needs his own special warning label. As in "Warning: Contents may be prone to random acts of evil and/or perversion."

Prologue

The snow fell quietly on the cobbled stone street. The only illumination was a sparse few street lamps, and even they had to strain to pierce the sullen gloom. A pallor had fallen across the whole of Central, though it seemed to find particular purchase around this one building, and the short, blonde youth standing in front of it.

The boy was crying. Not the short, gasping sobs of terror, nor the long, drawn out heaving of loss; no, these were tears of hopelessness. He stared up at the modest dwelling, and knew he would never stand inside it. He saw into the kitchen, and knew he would never taste a meal cooked by the one he loved. He saw into the bedroom, and knew he would never fall asleep next to the angel of his dreams.

He saw into the living room, and spied a woman's purse. His tears transformed in an instant from those of hopeless, unrequited love, to those of betrayal. It did not matter that he had no claim on the man; he thought of the raven-haired vision as his own. For, it was _he_ who loved this man, not that whore! He worked himself into a frenzy, until he could take it no more. He dropped to one knee, and slammed his fist into the stone. Then he did it again. And again. Over and over, until he felt something give. Not the stone; in his hand. He came to his senses, and realized he'd been striking the ground with his flesh-and-blood arm, and that he had just shattered three or four bones, and probably broken a few more. But that didn't matter. All the pain he needed lay in that errant purse, in that man's home.

"I hate you, Roy Mustang. I hate you… and I love you…"

Worry not! More to come!

Just wanted to have something to give you guys, before I went to class.


	2. 1: A Day Like Any Other

Title: "Odi et Amo"

Author: Predstavlenia Glazala Boga

Warnings: So far, male homosexuality, angstiness, violence, and Roy.

Yes, I do believe that Roy Mustang needs his own special warning label. As in "Warning: Contents may be prone to random acts of evil and/or perversion."

Note: Odi et Amo is a phrase taken from the Roman poet Catullus. It means "I love and I hate".

Chapter the First: A Day Like Any Other

"Fullmetal, I would ask why you've idled in Central for almost a month now, but I have a feeling you wouldn't answer. For once, our orders and your personal vendetta synch up; why in god's name would you wait here, instead of following the latest lead on the Philosopher's Stone!"

Ed was only half-listening, his mind flitting far away, like a petal taken by an errant breeze. _You know damn well why I haven't left yet, Roy!_ he thought to himself. The true focus of his thoughts, though, was what could be, not what was. The life that he and Roy Mustang could share. A life of love, where neither would want for anything, because all they would need is each other. _A child's daydream,_ he scolded himself. It came to him then that the Lieutenant Colonel had stopped talking, and seemed to be looking for a response. "What was that?"

"I said, Fullmetal, that perhaps the reason you haven't left yet is because it would mean leaving behind little old me? Is that it? I should warn you, though, that the fickle flame of desire in my heart passes quickly from one person to the next! Even should we spend a night together, I might be gone before morning! Is that what you want, Fullmetal?" He face was distorted, and he faked tears of joy; all telltale signs of the caustic Roy Mustang sense of humor.

_He's mocking me! The bastard is making a mockery of my emotions! Of all the rotten things he's done to me, this is the worst! Worse than making me do his damned laundry, worse than making me spend the whole day with Hughes after he got a roll of pictures developed… Hughes. He hasn't been the same since Hughes died. Coming in disheveled and reeking of alcohol, shirking his duties FAR more than normal… I shouldn't be too hard on him, I guess…_

"Oh, dear, I think we've lost him for good this time. Fullmetal? Are you in there?" Mustang began knocking furiously on Edward's head, while looking quizzically into the younger man's glazed-over eyes. After a few moments of this, he came to, grabbing Roy's arm in a more-than-slightly angry manner.

"Damn you, Roy Mustang! Can't you just leave me be?" He stormed off towards the door, throwing it open and slamming it shut. It took the contents of the office a few moments to recover from the shock of this encounter. Even then, they were all a little surprised; after all, Ed had never seemed truly angry at Roy before. Oh, sure, they had their little spats, but it all seemed like an act when compared with Edward's reaction to this situation.

"Hey, chief, ya think maybe you were too rough on him? I know he's a State Alchemist, but he's also a kid. You're always ribbin' him, and maybe he didn't take too kindly to it…" Havoc shrugged as he trailed off. He had a feeling there was something else there, but he didn't want to say anything. Not while it was still a hunch, that is. Looks like Detective Havoc had some work ahead of him!

"He is a soldier first and foremost, Havoc. A soldier under my command. Perhaps I could have treated him more respectfully, but, at this point in his career, he should understand how I operate. I do not intend to apologize for hurting a child's feelings. The world is big and unfriendly. That is a lesson that Fullmetal will have to learn sooner or later." He sighed. He _had_ been a bit rough on Edward. No matter what front he put forward, he did care about the boy. And that jab he'd thrown did seem to hit a little too close to the mark. _No, that can't be it. Honestly, I'd be surprised if he didn't hate me by now. Oh, well, it's not a soldier's lot to know love…_

Everyone in the room was staring at him by this point. They all knew that look that he got sometimes, usually after a particularly vicious fight with Edward. After a few moments, they expected, he would sit back down, and start not doing his work. A few minutes later, they were still waiting. All of a sudden, he turned, and spoke to his second-in-command. "Hawkeye, find Fullmetal. Give him this note, and tell him to dress nicely." He quickly scribbled out a few words on a pad of paper, then tore it off and handed it to the confused-looking woman. She saluted, and walked out. _Always so obedient. Sometimes, I almost feel bad for her. I've noticed the way she looks at me. Can't be helped, I suppose. Someone will be learning the lesson about the unfriendliness of the world, and it might just be her._ At long last, he collapsed into his chair, and started making a house of cards.

"Um, sir?" began Fuery. "Might I ask.."

"No, you may not. I'm sorry, Fuery, but this is not something you were meant to know."

The bespectacled man slumped a little. No one ever told him anything. He knew what was going on, of course, but he wanted to see if Mustang would actually admit it. _Not a chance,_ he thought. _He probably hasn't even admitted it to himself._ He shook the gathering funk off, and returned to the paperwork that he was doing. Technically, it was Roy's to do, but leaving it to him would mean it would never get done. _Ah, well. I suppose that that is the way of things…_

Alright, I promise it won't be so long between updates next time. Also, future updates will be longer. Please to enjoy this offering, and review if you see fit. Until we meet again!


	3. 2: Prelude to the Ball

"Odi et Amo"

By: Predstavlenia Glazala Boga

See Prologue or Chapter 1 for warnings.

Chapter 2:

"Brother, you've been fiddling with that tie for ten minutes. I don't think it's going to get any straighter…" Alphonse Elric sighed at his elder brother's obsession with the Bow Tie. The smaller Elric had been adjusting his wardrobe as a whole for near on half an hour, and, as he was using Alphonse as a mirror, this was beginning to grate. It would have been bad enough if it was just Edward's anal retentiveness, but neither of them had ever worn a tuxedo before, and they were not quite sure where everything went.

"Bah. I should have just grabbed an official uniform. At least those things are easy to put on…" These were just words, though. His raven-haired love had told him to dress nicely, so only the best would do. He just wished there were more options for men. "All right, I'm ready. Let's hope these shoes are good for walking, 'cuz Headquarters is almost a mile away…"

"You know, brother, we have a little extra money. We could call a cab, or something…" Alphonse knew what his brother was about to say, though, and regretted even bringing it up.

"Al, our mother left us that money for our education and survival, NOT so we could waste it being lazy. Come on, now, a little walk never killed anybody…" He was not totally convinced of this last fact, but there was nothing to do for it. He was just about to walk out the door, when he saw something moving outside the window. He froze, and motioned for his younger brother to get down. As quietly as he could, he removed the white glove from his right hand, and transmuted part of his automail arm into a simple katar, as he had done many times before. He braced himself for the window, the door, or any part of the wall to explode inwards at any moment. It was because of this preparation that he was unsure what to do when he heard a knock at the door. He remained in a ready stance for a moment, hesitant. He then straightened, and opened the door a crack.

This was all the invitation Roy Mustang needed. He pushed the door the rest of the way open with a flourish, and looked down upon the tiny blonde. A sardonic grin crept onto his face as he saw Edward's katar-hand. "Oh, dear, Fullmetal. You weren't planning on jumping me, and having your way with me, were you? Well… alright. Just, please, be gentle…" Following this comment, he feigned a fainting spell, collapsing onto Edward, and knocking him to the floor.

Edward Elric had never blushed as furiously as he did that moment. _This is nice_, he thought, his mind going nearly blank for a moment. Then, he realized the predicament he was in, especially regarding the cleanliness of his outfit. He growled, and started smacking the older man. "GOD DAMMIT, ROY MUSTANG, I HATE YOU! GET OFF OF ME!" Eventually, his commanding officer acquiesced, and, after standing up and dusting himself off, offered a hand to the younger man. _Bastard. You don't even know what you're doing to me._ After a few moments of showing his defiance, Ed took the proffered hand, and stood up. He looked down at his tuxedo, and groaned. "Mustang, I just finished putting this on. Now it's all wrinkled, and dirty…"

Roy sighed. _Petulant child_. "We don't have time for you to fix it now. Get in the car, and I'll help you sort it out on the way. Don't wait up for us, Alphonse." The final statement was made to the younger brother, who was still attempting to hide, albeit not with any degree of success. His piece said, Roy ushered Ed into the waiting car, which was being driven by Havoc. Ed nodded brightly to the man with the two-toned hair, as he took his place in the back, with Mustang. They settled in, and Mustang started fussing with Ed's outfit.

Havoc watched them through the rear-view mirror, perhaps more intently than was safe. _But this is an emergency, so it's okay_. At least, that's how he justified it to himself; the woman he nearly ran over probably saw things differently. The more he watched, though, the clearer it became: _They totally want each other! How could I have missed it?_ Thinking back, he remembered a few off-color jokes Fuery had made, which were surprising on multiple levels, and which hinted at this very thing. He sighed, cursing his own stupidity. _Detective Havoc, right. I'm an embarrassment to my fake profession. At least I'm not a half-bad soldier… I think._

In the back, the Flame Alchemist had nearly finished dusting off and straightening up his Fullmetal counterpart's tuxedo. A few times, his hands had passed a bit too close to Ed's personal area for comfort, but he didn't try anything. Not that he hadn't wanted to, but propriety demanded he not get grabby. _Not to mention sexual harassment laws_. He sighed heavily, cursing those very laws, not to mention their long-dead instigators. All of that would change, of course, once he became Fuhrer. Until then, however…

"We're here, boss," called out to Mustang, breaking him from his reverie. He realized, then, that he had been hanging on to the lapels of Ed's coat for a good minute and a half, just staring off into space. The younger man was obviously uncomfortable with this, given his blushing, and how he averted his gaze. Mustang quickly released him, and finished brushing him off. After this, he got out, and quickly circled the car to let Ed out. Ed took the arm he offered, albeit shyly, and in a manner that indicated surprise.

Roy smirked, and indicated the beautifully-decorated Headquarters with a flourish. "Edward Elric, let me be the first to welcome you to the Officer's Ball."

Alright, sorry for another long wait. I'm out of school now, so I should be able to write much more often. I'd love to get any input you guys have. Thank you, and good night.


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